Common Sense

Today we mourn the passing
of a beloved old friend,
Mr. Common Sense.

Mr. Sense had been with us for many years.
No one knows for sure
how old he was since his birth records
were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered
as having cultivated such value lessons
as knowing when to come in out of the rain,
why the early bird gets the worm
and that life isn't always fair.
Common Sense lived by simple,
sound financial policies
(don't spend more than you earn)
and reliable parenting strategies
(adults, not kids, are in charge.)
His health began to rapidly deteriorate
when well intentioned but
overbearing regulations were set in place.
Reports of a six-year-old boy;
charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate;
teens suspended from school
for using mouthwash after lunch;
and a teacher fired
for reprimanding an unruly student,
only worsened his condition.

Mr. Sense declined even further
when schools were required to get
parental consent to administer aspirin to a student;
but, could not inform the parents
when a student became pregnant
and wanted to have an abortion.

Finally, Common Sense
lost the will to live
as the churches became businesses;
and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense finally gave up the ghost
after a woman failed to realize
that a steaming cup of coffee was hot,
she spilled a bit in her lap,
and was awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents,
Truth and Trust,
his wife, Discretion;
his daughter, Responsibility;
and his son, Reason.
He is survived by two stepbrothers;
My Rights and Ima Whiner.

Not many attended his funeral
because so few realized he was gone.